Navigating Grief — Finding Your Way After the Death of Your Spouse

When major catastrophes happen in your life, you suffer. And when you suffer, you tend to want to curl up and hide. I know the feeling, because that happened to me.

In today’s Deep Dive podcast, “Navigating Grief — Finding Your Way After the Death of Your Spouse,” I’m discussing the what now? question people face in the wake of such loss.

When my husband died in 2015, I was in a state of shock at first. Although I distracted myself with my radio program, it was a terrible time when I got off the air. So, I know what I’m talking about when listeners call me looking for support after the death of their spouse.

4 Actions to Take When You’ve Lost a Spouse:

1. Find a grief group. The people you’ll meet will understand what you’re feeling because they’re going through it too.

2. Lean on friends and family who stand by you. I feel a great sense of gratitude to this day toward the people who truly buoyed me up and simply listened to me.

3. Let yourself cry. The pain is visceral and terrifying. In this episode, you can hear several somatic exercises I recommended that my caller, Gigi, try when feeling strong emotions.

4. Be patient with yourself. No one wants to hear this, but it can take a few years after your loss to start feeling comfortable and happy in your new life. When I first spoke to Yul, he was a ball of emotions. Listen to this episode for his follow-up call about how his life had changed six months later.

Hear from listeners who share their own tips for dealing with loss

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🎧 Listen to the accompanying Call of the Day episode:

☎️ You’re not alone:

Whether you’re in the beginning stages of grief or stuck on painful emotions years later, dial 1-800-DRLAURA (1-800-375-2872) or click here to find a time we can speak together on air.

🥀 Adapting to Life While Grieving

Charlotte called me concerned that she was still suffering two years after the death of her husband. Read my blog to learn what two things I told her to keep in mind during this time.

How Your Children's Book Impacted Me as an Adult

Where did you unexpectedly find solace while grieving? For Layne, who was grieving her baby, it was in the message she took away from my children’s book:

At 22 weeks pregnant, my husband and I received the news that our baby girl had Down Syndrome. In that moment, the news felt like a punch in the gut — all our dreams, plans, and ideas for the future would look very different. We wrestled with the anxiety and fear of what it meant for our baby and for our family.

A few weeks later, our then-2-year-old daughter asked me to read your book, “Why Do You Love Me” for the 122nd time.

As we read together, tears welled up in my eyes. This baby I was carrying didn’t have to act or exist in any certain way for us to love her. Her chromosomes didn’t determine how much we’d cherish her. She would be loved because she was ours — the one and only Jaya.

With her approaching arrival, we put together a sign language binder, connected with other parents, gathered resources. Our fears turned to excitement for what the future would hold for our sweet girl. Ten days before her due date, Jaya’s heart stopped beating and I delivered our stillborn baby girl.

I learned I didn’t need to add another “why” to our list of reasons she was adored.

We love her beyond measure because she is OUR baby girl. Thank you for your children’s book. It has made an unexpected and beautiful impact on me as a 35-year-old mommy.

💡 Thought of the Day 

Now, go do the right thing!

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