How Helping Your Kids Can Hold Them Back

Today’s kids are increasingly experiencing a “failure to launch” into their 20s and even 30s. Too many adult children not only live off their parents or with their parents, but they actually expect it to be that way.

Not every parent fulfills their responsibility of raising children to become independent adults. In today’s Deep Dive podcast, “How Helping Your Kids Can Hold Them Back,” I explore the impact parents have on their child’s future success — or lack thereof.

Mistakes to avoid making early on:

• You run to comfort your child any time they cry

• You constantly protect them from getting hurt — emotionally or physically

• You over-praise and under-criticize them

• You make excuses, enabling your child’s behavior

When kids develop an unhealthy sense of entitlement, there’s no limit to what they want.

The more you give, the less they appreciate and the more they demand. This Deep Dive includes an excellent example of what indulged kids can turn into. 23-year-old Mo called to complain about having to pay rent to her parents instead of being able to use that money to fulfill her dream of travel. Download this episode to hear how I tried to help Mo adjust her perspective.

Change is possible!

When kids have too many unearned privileges, they don’t gain self-confidence. How does one gain self-confidence? You look back at what you've accomplished and say, “Look what I did!” Listen to this episode to hear the letter from my listener, Laurie, describing how proud she was after she unravelled her snowflake behaviors.

Want your child to pave their own path to success?

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📚 Are you guilty of other Dr. Laura no-no’s?

Giving into your child’s behaviors and demands is just one of many mistakes I discuss in my bestseller, “Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids.” Discover how holding back on discipline will turn your kids into adults with temper tantrums, defiance, and anxiety.

Adjusting to Life After the Death of a Spouse

Have you ever gotten a cut where there’s already a scar? Over time, the pain subsides and the wound doesn’t look as bad. But the mark is still there, and it will always be there.

Well, that’s how it goes when your spouse has died.

You’re never going to have your old, scar-free life again. Your scar doesn’t have to stop you from living your life. It doesn’t have to keep you from being happy. But it is a permanent scar.

That’s what I told Charlotte, who called me concerned that she was still suffering two years after the death of her husband of 55 years. “Sometimes I have bouts of breaking down and crying,” she said. “I have my strong church ties, a supportive family, a part-time job, and fun with my senior center. But I still have this giant VOID.”

They say that time heals all wounds, but that’s not exactly true.

You have to put in the effort to heal, and Charlotte was doing a good job of that by working and being involved with her family and community. Keeping active is important both medically and mentally. But it can still take a few years after your loss to start to feel comfortable and happy in your new life. Especially if you liked your spouse!

It’s normal, and it’s not going to go away.

When you’re used to having somebody and then they are gone, it feels like the “void” Charlotte was experiencing. In time, you do get on with the new chapters of your life. But you’ll always be a little scarred.

🤔 To Date or Not to Date?

In this Call of the Day episode, Gloria is a widow who wonders if dating again is in the cards.

🥀 Grieving a Loss

I profoundly understand the topic of grief. I hope the personal experiences and the advice I share in this Deep Dive episode provide comfort in difficult times.

Your Kids Need You as a Parent, Not a Friend

Although Sandra wished she and her daughter could get along better, she knew that giving in to worries wouldn’t help her raise a self-reliant child. Read her message to moms in similar predicaments.

"Now, go DO the right thing!"