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How Helping Your Kids Can Hold Them Back

Today’s kids are increasingly experiencing a “failure to launch” into their 20s and even 30s. Too many adult children not only live off their parents or with their parents, but they actually expect it to be that way.

Not every parent fulfills their responsibility of raising children to become independent adults. In today’s Deep Dive podcast, “How Helping Your Kids Can Hold Them Back,” I explore the impact parents have on their child’s future success — or lack thereof.

Mistakes to avoid making early on:

• You run to comfort your child any time they cry

• You constantly protect them from getting hurt — emotionally or physically

• You over-praise and under-criticize them

• You make excuses, enabling your child’s behavior

When kids develop an unhealthy sense of entitlement, there’s no limit to what they want.

The more you give, the less they appreciate and the more they demand. This Deep Dive includes an excellent example of what indulged kids can turn into. 23-year-old Mo called to complain about having to pay rent to her parents instead of being able to use that money to fulfill her dream of travel. Download this episode to hear how I tried to help Mo adjust her perspective.

Change is possible!

When kids have too many unearned privileges, they don’t gain self-confidence. How does one gain self-confidence? You look back at what you've accomplished and say, “Look what I did!” Listen to this episode to hear the letter from my listener, Laurie, describing how proud she was after she unravelled her snowflake behaviors.

Want your child to pave their own path to success?

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📚 Are you guilty of other Dr. Laura no-no’s?

Giving into your child’s behaviors and demands is just one of many mistakes I discuss in my bestseller, “Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids.” Discover how holding back on discipline will turn your kids into adults with temper tantrums, defiance, and anxiety.

Listen to the Call of the Day episode that inspired today’s Deep Dive:

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Your Kids Need You as a Parent, Not a Friend

Although Sandra wished she and her daughter could get along better, she knew that giving in to worries wouldn’t help her raise a self-reliant child. Read her message to moms in similar predicaments:

I pity mothers who are intent on being their kid’s friend instead of parent. Your show supports what my parents taught me about raising children with discipline and a moral code. You’ve given me a backbone when I wavered on doing the right thing for my children.

Raising kids felt thankless, especially in the teen years.

There were several years of fighting with my daughter over what she wanted versus what I knew was right. There were times when I was sure she hated me, but I pushed on knowing I needed to stick to my integrity. By the time she entered her 20s, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. She began to make choices more in line with the values I raised her with.

My daughter is now 28, and she recently told me how much she appreciates the things I taught her.

She even complimented me on the example I set! And guess what? She and I are friends now. She asks me for advice, and she respects my input. It paid off to be the “mean mother.”

My message to other moms is to hang in there, do it right, and watch it pay off in the end with a friend for life.

💡 Thought of the Day 

Now, go do the right thing!

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