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Not Using This Word Will Ruin Your Life

YOU are your own greatest cheerleader

5 Tips for Saying No

As a child, I bet you had no trouble saying no. But when you got older, “no” became a terrifying impossibility — even to say it out loud.

You don’t want to let anyone down, hurt their feelings, or make them mad at you. Despite how complicated everyone wants to make it, saying no is incredibly simple.

Here’s how you do it:

  1. Say it with a pleasant expression on your face. This accomplishes two things. First, it calms you down to not escalate and keeps them calm so they don’t get defensive.

  2. Lightly touch the other person on the hand, arm, or shoulder. It signals that you care about them while communicating what you want.

  3. Keep it short and simple. You don’t have to explain yourself. Just say, “I’m so sorry to disappoint you.” If they press you for more information, stick with that mantra: “I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but I really can’t.” Don’t give excuses or explanations.

  4. Don’t say, “Perhaps some other time.” They’ll be back!

  5. End it by wishing the other person well. Say, “I hope the party/job/trip goes well.” It’s gracious, and you make it clear that it’s over.

That’s it! The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. 

If you don’t, everybody else will own your life and you won’t. If you want to be the master of your own life, you have to learn how to say no nicely, with no excuses and no explanations.

📹 Teaching You to Be Assertive with Others:

🎧 I Hate Letting People Down

In this classic Call of the Day episode, I gave Diana one question to ask herself when she starts feeling “guilty” for saying no to others.

How I Overcame the Trifecta of Negative Traits

What was your wake-up call to turn your life around? For Angie, it was a segment on my program, which gave her more insight into why she struggled with certain roadblocks:

During a show last year, you mentioned that “people pleasers” often had a childhood where they didn’t feel good enough. They derived their value from pleasing others. It felt like you were talking to ME in this segment. I realized I’ve lived my whole life with the trifecta of negative traits: people-pleasing, low self-esteem and perfectionism.

Frankly, I was sick of feeling this way.

With the help of my daughters, I've overcome some of the anxiety through art projects. It’s intoxicating to feel that sense of calm while being creative. Talk about a game-changer!

I also took your words to heart about improving self-esteem by impressing yourself.

I fixed our dryer by myself recently and felt an incredible sense of pride when it started working. For $16 in parts and 45 minutes of time, I have a working dryer AND, most importantly, a realization that I’m a pretty smart 59-year-old gal!

Thank you for being the best resource I’ve ever found.

You inspire me to delve into myself and make real changes. I am so grateful for all that you do for your Dr. Laura family.

💌 I’d love to hear from you:

Are you a reformed people pleaser? How did you finally find value in yourself, rather than seeking it from others? Send your stories to me by emailing [email protected]!

My Dad Doesn't Show Me Respect

How should Jessica deal with her elderly father who expects her to work for free on his ranch?

💡 Thought of the Day 

You are the architect of your own life.

"Now, go do the right thing!"

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