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Words Matter

Be careful of the words you use. They tell your psyche how to respond.

In today’s age of clickbait and attention-grabbing social media headlines, it’s easy to default to the dramatic. But telling yourself, “I’m traumatized,” requires a very different approach than saying, “I’m sad,” “I’m disappointed” or “I’m concerned.”

When we use powerful words like “traumatized,” “hate,” “destroyed” and “abused” inaccurately, we make actual trauma, hate, abuse, and destruction powerless. Not to mention, when you exaggerate, you make it less likely that you can make any forward progress. It’s much harder to come back from, “I’m devastated!” than from “I am seriously pissed off.”

The more dramatic you act, the harder it will be to have any rational thoughts about what to do next.

That’s why I ask people all the time to define their words and be more specific. Sometimes they’ll say, “I’m totally devastated,” when they really mean, “I’m so embarrassed that I (picked that loser, didn’t see the red flags, etc.).” Devastation is kind of permanent. Being sad, regretful or hurt can be more easily overcome.

The more you exaggerate, the less likely you’ll be to take any responsibility.

The less you’ll look at your problems objectively, and the less likely it will be that you’ll learn from your mistakes and avoid them in the future. Words matter. Choose yours carefully.

🎧 Taking Personal Responsibility

Struggling with a broken moral compass? Take the first step with this Deep Dive episode by learning how to admit to your wrongdoings and mistakes.

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My Son's Words Make Everything Worth It

What would you say in a thank you message to your stay-at-home mom? Patty shared her son’s note with me, and I hope it gives you some inspiration:

I wanted to share how profoundly impactful it is to be a stay-at-home mom. Being by my son’s side in those early years solidified a strong bond between us. At 21, he received a diagnosis of a rare liver disease which has caused him to be sick frequently.

I received this note last Mother’s Day, and it still makes me tear up every time I read it:

"Mom, I was rather ill in the lead-up to this Mother's Day, but it helped me to fully appreciate what you've done for me in the past seven years. All of the care and concern you've given me is already more that I can ever repay. Let alone all of the appointments you've accompanied me on, all of the paperwork you've done, or all the medication you've filled. I know that you've endured more than your fair share of stress in this journey. You are such an exceptional mother and woman to have helped me the way you have. You're even more than that though. I know in my heart of hearts that you'll be there for me until your last breath (or mine). Just know this, no matter what happens to you as you continue to gracefully age, I will never abandon you, and I'll always seek to try to help you as you've profoundly helped me. I will never stop loving you. I'll love you forever."

I’m already tearing up again!

Dr. Laura, I'm so happy I made the decision to stay home and care for my boy.

💌 Share your own words of gratitude:

Who has made the most profound impact on you, and how? Send your thoughts to me by emailing [email protected]!

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💡 Thought of the Day 

"Now, go do the right thing!"

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